The Importance of Being Daddy

Step right up boys and girls to the greatest show in the universe; well, at least in this galaxy anyway. Well, at least on this planet. Well, at least on this block...hopefully. Of course, my next door neighbor is a very sweet old lady who likes napping, Murder She Wrote and canning; so, if she ever decided to create a blog I would most likely be the second greatest show on the block. Anyway, I would like to welcome you all, well at least one of you hopefully, to the first ever post of the "Single Dads Guide to the UNIVERSE". Before we get started I would like to first list my credentials. I currently hold multiple degrees in many different fields that uniquely qualify me to make social commentary and down right obnoxious observations about being single, raising children and life in general. First off, I hold a PHD in how to cover up carpet stains, how to forget sunscreen at the beach and in the discipline of forgetting to give your kids lunch money. (This last subject is a field I have vast amounts of experience in.) Moreover, I hold multiple Masters in embarrassing your kids, working two jobs to support your kids, figuring out how to keep POS cars running way past their expiration date. (I call them the driving dead.) and letting your kids stay up way to late on school nights. Likewise, I hold multiple BS in such areas of study as getting rejected by the girl of your dreams, having to painfully turn down women who you love as a friend but just don't feel that way about, Loneliness and burning any form of baked good. And last, but not least, I hold multiple black belts in the grace of God, the love of God, loving my Children and perseverance. Just for the record, I would also like to mention that I am also an expert in movies. comic books, Cosplay, Jedi mind tricks, anything JRR Tolkien and 80s and 90s cartoons. Now that we have gotten the formalities out of the way lets talk bout the crucial importance of holding the title of "DADDY".

I just want to start by clarifying that when I refer to the title of Daddy I am not referring to the oh so over used expression "baby daddy." I hate this term, because it cheapens the meaning of the word DADDY by lowering it to the level of simply a person who had a sexual encounter with a woman; but, has no relationship with the child that was created from his actions. Sadly, however, the world is filled with selfish men who refuse to take accountability and responsibility for their children. Honestly, I feel sorry for these misguided over grown children; because, they are missing out on the most extraordinary and fulfilling relationships they will ever have in this life. Honestly, the one great driving desire of the Creator of the Universe was to be a dad; so, that in itself displays just how important the office of Daddy really is. The definition of daddy according to Webster dictionary is to be ones father. Well now, I feel that that is a rather limited definition of a word that holds far more meaning to a child. You see, to a child a person who is a dad or a daddy is a person who they look to for more then just a house and a home. A daddy is someone that a child runs to when they have a bad dream. he is the person that they cry to when they are hurt both emotionally and physically and he is the person they fall asleep on while watching TV. Daddy is the man who carries him or her to their bed when they have fallen asleep in the car and the person who shows up to their sports games and cheers them on no matter how bad they perform. In fact, it only takes a little bit of DNA to make a man a father; but, it takes effort and sacrifice to be a daddy.

So now, why is it important for me as a man to embrace the title of daddy? Lets start out with a few statistics shall we. (I just got shivers down my spine when I typed the word "statistics" flash backs of my college days and my statistics class.) According to aboutprenting.com 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. Moreover, 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes; and, 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes. Likewise, The likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families. (Source: A. Anne Hill, June O'Neill, Underclass Behaviors in the United States, CUNY, Baruch College. 1993). These are just a few of the proven complications that arise in children when they are raised without a present and active father. These stats in themselves should express to any father the importance of being involved in their child's life; but, what about the psychological effects that a child can have when their father is not active and present in their lives. Whereas, a child not growing up knowing the importance of Star Wars or comic books is an important problem that generally arises from the lack of a daddy; I am referring rather, to such problems as low self esteem and feelings of abandonment and worthlessness. Wait a minute now! Isn't my job as a father to teach my kids to be self reliant and tuff. After all, I don't want my boy to turn out to be a wuss right? I'm glad you asked that question; because, it hints at, in my mind, one of the greatest misnomers in parenting. Yes, you should teach your children to be responsible and self reliant; but, you should also teach them that there are people they can rely on and trust. You see, you as a dad are one of the first persons to teach a child this lesson; so if they can not trust you to love them and keep them safe, than they will grow up as untrusting and fearful people. Yes, they will hopefully overcome the problems that arise from the lack of having a father in their lives; but, it will be a long hard road for them. Trust me, I spent a great amount of my life as a youth leader repairing the damage that absent fathers have done to their children. Also, its a proven fact that children who grow up without a dad, are not exposed to such important life lessons as: the difference between a Jedi and a Sith, which world is better DC or Marvel, how to kick a bully in the nuts and proper video game edict; and, we all understand just how important these life lessons are.

Moreover, one of the first lessons children learn about God they receive from their father. In fact, what a child thinks about God is generally directly proportional to their relationship with their father. When I went through my divorce I desperately wanted to run away and go home. I wanted to go hide under a rock and close my eyes until the pain went away. I wish I could say it was my amazing character and unending strength that prevented me from doing just that; but, in reality I was completely and utterly destroyed inside and had no strength left in me. The one thing that kept me getting up day in and day out, was the grace of God and the faces of my two children. I knew that if I ran away and abandoned them; then whenever life got tuff for them, that is exactly what they would expect God to do. How could they trust God as a loving father who would never leave them or forsake them; if the man who represented the father heart of God in the physical realm, ran and left them when the road became difficult. This is the one thing that dragged my sorry butt out of bed day after day. It was this one thing that made me try again and again no matter how many times I failed; and, it is this one driving force that God gave me the grace to accomplish. I am not a perfect father and neither are you; but, we can be the dad that never gives up and shows our kids just how much we love them by our commitment and actions not just in lip service. Men, being DAD is the most important title you will ever hold in this life; seconded, only by the title of HUSBAND. Sure, being President of these United States would be pretty cool and I would love to pitch for the New Your Mets; but even if I do accomplish these great feats, they would never compare to the awesome responsibility of being given the gift of the title of Daddy. After all there is no greater title a man can hold. (Of course, if I was cast as Cable in the upcoming Deadpool 2 movie it would come pretty close.)