Is the Sacrifice Worth It?

Do you ever just sit and watch your kids as they go about their daily existence? I know I have often; and, those times when my son tried to stick a knife in a wall socket or my daughter tried to fit her rather large cranium through the porch bars; I thought, "I have created morons." Oh, don't act so shocked, you know you have thought it as well. The truth is we all have. Every parent at some time or another has been sure, that if Darwin was correct, that their children were certainly doomed; and the older they get, the less common sense they seem to have. Well, don't worry parents I am here to tell you that they are doomed! DOOMED I say! No, I am just kidding; but, it certainly can feel that way at times. I won't lie, most of the time it feels like everything you say to them falls on deaf ears, and every life lesson that you so deftly educated them on has been lost in the growing abyss of their little brains. For me personally I find that the reward system seems to work the best for training my children. It’s kind of like trying to train a pet to sit, stay or poop where you want them too. Good girl Emmy, you pooped in the potty! Does Emmy want a cookie? I think doctors and psychologists have actual documentation that states, that only by bribing children with sweets and other such treats can you truly train them. My daughter actually told me the other day that she had more fun hiking with me then her mother, because I rewarded her efforts with food. She is sixteen! Let’s be honest here, we are still like that. After a long hard week at work we want to sit down and reward ourselves with an extra slice of pizza or a good movie; or, if you are a woman, a day at the spa or a Lifetime Movie marathon. Whatever your pleasure, we all still use the reward system to make the hard things in life more palatable. So, as a single parent when life becomes difficult and there are no rewards for our efforts, what do we do?



Well now, we have finally arrived at the crux of the issue, where the rubber meets the road if you will. I have known many single parents who have simply given up because they felt that the rewards they were receiving were not equal to the sacrifices they were making. Being a parent alone is one of the most difficult endeavors a person can attempt; and being a single parent, is harder still. At times life can feel like nothing more than one trial after another, yet another sacrifice and battle with no end in sight. There have been times when I have literally only eaten one small meal a day so I can make sure my children had what they needed; and I am sure you have a similar testimony. As a parent we all give up what we want and sometimes need in life so our children can have what they want and need. I would never confess that to them of course, and I will most likely find myself in the grave with my children never having truly known what I did for them. One of my favorite scenes in any movie is from the film Cinderella Man. The story takes place during the depression and the main character is a down and out boxer who is trying desperately to keep his family together. At breakfast each member of the family gets one small slice of fried baloney each and a glass of watered down milk; and, that was most likely the only meal they would have for the day. The little daughter who was about eight years old was still hungry after she finished off her portion, and tentatively asked if there was any more left. The father, who was looking at yet another day of hard labor at the docks, gave his daughter his piece, claiming that he had had a dream the night before where he ate so much that he was still full. The mother protested; but, the dad simply kissed her and went on his way. Yes, whereas the man did gain the respect and admiration of his wife; the truth is, there was no reward for his sacrifice other than knowing that his daughter was no longer hungry. In fact later on in the movie when he had fought his way back to the top of the boxing world against all odds he was asked by a journalist why he felt he would win this time around. He said, because this time he knew what he was fighting for. The journalist asked him what that was, and he said “milk”. This was a reference to an earlier scene where his wife was lamenting that they did not have any milk left and no money to buy more. You see, the reason why his rise was different this time, was because the sacrifices he was making was no longer for himself, but for his family.

One reward I have received from my sixteen years of being daddy, however, is that I have come to understand God better. You see, the bible truly is a love story; but it is not, however, just about the romance between God the bride groom and his wife the church. In fact, God and the Church is just one small part of the greater narrative of this life. The truth is that the bible is and always has been, for the most part, a story about a fathers love for his children. From creation to the fall we are given wonderful examples of how God loved us so much that he would sacrifice and make the hard choices to save us his children. In fact, God created us knowing that we had the potential to fall away; but He loved us so much, that He created us anyway. We all know how the story ends with the Father becoming flesh, and out of love, paying the ultimate price for His children. You see, we kind of miss the point when we only see Jesus as the Son of God. He was far more than that. In fact, the prophet Isaiah wrote in Isaiah 7:14: Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, A virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. Matthew would later write that the actual interpretation of the name Emmanuel is: God with us. You see, Jesus was God. He was the father who became flesh so that he could save His children; and in some small way, we become like our Heavenly Father when we sacrifice for our children. Yes, it was a most extraordinary and difficult sacrifice Jesus paid for us His children; but if you too are a dad or mother, then you understand that God could not have chosen any other path then the cross. I have been told that you cannot not truly take care of your children unless you take care of yourself first; but that my friends, just simply is not true. In fact, Jesus proved that through his sacrifice, when he gave all asking nothing in return than simply the love of His children; and if the greatest father of all did that for His children, how then could we do any less for ours?

I have had many people tell me that they are greatly impressed that I have given up my life for my children. This statement puzzles me, as I am sure it would any parent worth their salt. I have never thought of what I have done as any great sacrifice. Sure, there have been many times, last night included, where I have felt like I have nothing in life at all to show for my sacrifices other than the sweet sound of my two children telling me they love me. I wish I could tell you that some great reward was waiting for me in this life, and that I would someday have the wife of my dreams, power and position and a rewarding six figure job for all of my efforts; but, I cannot. In fact, there is no ticker tape parade for those of us who choose to walk this road, no Stanley Cup, World Series ring or MVP trophy waiting for us at the end of the game; and at the end of the day, the only reward we may have is the love of our children. Even writing this now, I do not see the path I have walked as any great achievement. I am daddy, how could I have done anything else? How could I have walked any other road? In fact, to me at the end of the day the love of my children is worth more to me than any other reward this life has to offer me, and I am sure you can agree.